My Frustrations With the Cinema

I really hate that I am complaining about this. The reason being that I love going to see movies in the theater, and I want to continue enjoying it.

But in the last year or so, a reluctance has been boiling. It has to do with a few factors, both positive and negative. The positive factors are the flexibility and media quality of watching movies at home. I have a 7.1 speaker set up and a component video television. Most of the time, this gives me better quality sound and picture. The spaciality of my sound system destroys any theater I go to, lacking only the "bigness" of a theater. The analog of that could be said for me television. Other factors include the flexibility to pause, and the ability to serve more than just popcorn and sour strips.

So as the theater-to-home-theater quality gap is decreasing, my irritation at the patrons of cinemas grows.

I can't stand seeing a horror movie in the theater anymore. These movies tend to attract the high school crowd, which tend to bring along their cell phones. You know, cel phones are fabulous devices, but a high schooler with a cel phone in a theater is a recipe for ruining my experience. If they're not talking and planning their next party they're texting each other and laughing at their funny pictures. It's not like there's a dark theater around them where everyone can see their phone....jerks.

When I saw the grudge in 2004, there were so many kiddies laughing and talking, I had to let out a semi-discrete "shut the hell up," which worked to a limited degree.

Over Christmas break I saw the Chronicles of Narnia with my wife and my parents. All around us were little kids conversing with their parents about the movie, and how it compared with the book, and how they felt about it...friggin kids.

After that I saw Memoirs of a Geisha with my wife and some friends of ours, there was this lady behind us who kept asking questions like "what's a geisha?", "what's going on?", and the most frequent comment "I like her eyes, I think those are contacts.".. please save the dialogue the post-film coffee.

I just got back tonight from Munich, were there were 3 people in front of us acting like complete retards. Seriously Beavis and Butthead stonerish retards. "hahah, they sound funny because they're speaking Arabic" "hahahah, he's funny 'cause he's Jewish." I ended up having to move a dozen rows back, but not after informing them "this isn't Harold & Kumar go to White Castle."

I think I'll save the dramas & horrors for home. These days all I can stand in the theater is a good comedy.



I'll leave by reminding you that there's a special level of hell reserved for child molesters and people who talk in the theater.